The changing sexual mores in America

by Elaine Gottleib

Ideas about sex and sexual practices have changed dramatically over the last half-century. Where have we been and where are we going when it comes to sex?

When the first Kinsey Institute reports on sexual behavior came out in the late 1940s and early 1950s, some clergy denounced them as the work of the devil. With McCarthyism at its height and amid fears that the news of his research would lead to a communist takeover, Kinsey's work was even investigated by a special committee of the House of Representatives.

Some 50 years later, we now hear oral sex casually mentioned on the evening news. Bisexuality, polyamory and just about any other sexual preference are openly discussed on daytime talk shows.

"The openness we have today was unheard of in the past. Sexuality has been normalized. It's not a dirty secret that you keep in the closet anymore," says Boston sex therapist Alexandra Myles.

Times have changed, but when it comes to sexual behavior, there is still great division over what is right and wrong or healthy and unhealthy. "You can't disconnect sexuality from religion, socialization and gender. They still have great influence in our culture," Myles observes. Perhaps the greatest change is that now we openly discuss these differences instead of pretending they don't exist. To assess where we're headed in the new millennium, it's illuminating to take a look back at the sexual upheaval of the past half-century.

The veil was removed from Americans' bedroom activities when the Kinsey Institute published Sexual Behavior in the American Male in 1948 and Sexual Behavior in the American Female in 1953. Interviews with thousands of men and women uncovered revelations about peoples' sex lives that had long been strictly private, such as:

• 90% of men interviewed reported that they masturbated
• one-third of men said they had at least one sexual experience with another male since puberty
• 83% of males said they had sexual intercourse before marriage
• half of married men engaged in extramarital relationships
• half of women said they were not virgins when they married
• 25% of women reported that they had engaged in extramarital sex

The discoveries about women's sexual behavior caused the greatest controversy, because many people refused to believe that women could engage in sex for reasons other than procreation. "The right to sexual pleasure was not something women talked about at that time," Myles observes.

But people were clearly hungry for information about sexuality, since the Kinsey books were both immediate bestsellers. In 1958, another Kinsey study, entitled Pregnancy, Birth and Abortion, contained more remarkable revelations: one out of ten women reported becoming pregnant before marriage with three-quarters of them having illegal abortions. Still, not many people would openly admit to such behavior at a time when any deviations from heterosexual sex between married couples were frowned upon.

But the 1950s clearly set the stage for the enormous changes that would come in the 1960s. The first birth control pill was developed during that decade and was an advancement that would play a major role in the years ahead. Signs of rebellion surfaced in the late 50s as the "beats" flouted societal conventions, including sexual ones.

The winds of change swept in early in the 60s, knocking down societal values, standards, and traditional gender roles like dominos. In 1963, Betty Friedan's groundbreaking book, The Feminine Mystique acknowledged the discontent of female homemakers, and called upon women to seek their emancipation. The birth control pill and another new means of contraception?the IUD?became widely available and were the first forms of birth control that had pregnancy prevention rates of nearly 100% and didn't interfere with the spontaneity of sex.

In 1966, the first comprehensive study of the physiology of sex, Human Sexual Response, by William Masters and Virginia Johnson, helped people to understand exactly what happens when they become aroused and experience orgasm. Masters and Johnson developed techniques for dealing with sexual problems that are still widely used by sex therapists today.

The civil rights and anti?Vietnam War movements further eroded respect in traditional moral standards and institutions. In 1969, homosexuals joined the movement for sexual liberation; the Gay Liberation movement was born when a group of gay men rioted for the first time when police raided a popular homosexual bar in New York City.

By the end of the decade, there was greater sexual openness than America had ever seen before. The first baby boomers to come of age proudly danced in the nude at Woodstock. Rock lyrics, which had always celebrated sexuality, were now more explicitly sexual, as were books and magazines.

The new sexual liberation of the 1960s blossomed into the hedonism of the 1970s. For the first time, sex was divorced from love or commitment, becoming a recreational activity. One-night stands were rampant. Sexual experimentation moved into the realm of marriage with the publication of the book Open Marriage in 1972, which advocated that extramarital relations were acceptable as long as both partners agreed.

In 1973, the Supreme Court's decision in the Roe v. Wade case legalized abortion, removing another barrier that had kept women from freely expressing their sexuality.

But it wasn't all fun and games. As Americans adjusted to the sudden turnaround of sexual mores, the divorce rate skyrocketed from one in every four marriages in 1965 to one in two by 1977. And there was an inevitable backlash against such radical change in the emergence of the Christian Right, pro-family and anti-abortion movements.

The party quickly ended in the 80s with new epidemics of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). In the early 80s, herpes was labeled the "scarlet H" as millions of people contracted the herpes simplex virus (HSV) that causes outbreaks of genital sores that can be treated but not cured. Herpes was soon eclipsed by a far more serious STD, AIDS. For the first time, the consequences of casual, unprotected sex were truly a matter of life and death.

These diseases forced people to be at least somewhat more thoughtful about their sexual choices and intensified the conservative opposition against sexual permissiveness. For some people, AIDS was a clear validation of the immorality of sexual promiscuity in general and of homosexuality in particular.

Says Myles, "The whole issue of STDs has come up as a counterbalance to the forward movement made in the sexual arena. I think STDs have brought people back to considering very old-fashioned notions like celibacy and waiting until marriage to have sex. The freedom and exuberance of the 70s has certainly been watered down by the advent of STDs."

However, the rapid spread of AIDS among all demographic groups shows that people haven't given up casual sex. As we enter our third decade of dealing with AIDS, sexual activity is still increasing; the majority of Americans 18 and older surveyed in the Janus Report on Sexual Behavior reported having sex regularly, from once a week to daily.

There is clearly no turning back the changes of the past half-century. But has our greater openness about sex and increased sexual activity resulted in greater sexual satisfaction?

"I don't know if all these things add up to more sexual pleasure. I think people know more about sexual technique and are more open to sex in the media. Sexuality always comes down to more than the physical act for most people. It's never easy to really connect, stay intimate, give and receive love and integrate all that with body activity," Myles remarks.

The first sexual revolution was mostly enjoyed by the young. Today, older people are the ones experiencing unprecedented sexual freedom. People are living longer and, thanks in part to medical advances like Viagra, staying sexually active into their 60s, 70s, 80s and even 90s. The rules have changed for the old just as they did for the young. According to the Janus Report, 93% of men and 50% of women over 65 reported that they often or always have orgasms when they have sex.

"Most people don't experience their highest level of sexual satisfaction in a relationship, including all the issues of intimacy, closeness and connection, until their later years. They are finding out that you can be sexual for as long as you're breathing," Myles reports. This is borne out by the surprising statistic that the number of new AIDS cases is now highest among the elderly.

With the first set of baby boomers entering their 50s, it looks like the generation who came of age during the sexual revolution will be the ones to keep the fire going into their retirement years.